We all have many possessions.
We have our pride, and our resentments,
and our anger, and our fears,
and most of all, our need to be in control.
Most of all, our constant effort to avoid
the daily trials we always have to face.
“Sell what you own,” Jesus says,
“then come, follow me,”
but when the rich man hears this,
he is shocked–his “face falls”–
and he walks away. (Mark 10:17-27)
As I am always doing.
I am very rich in all these false ways,
and I don’t want to lay my burdens down.
I hear the gospel and my face falls, too,
again and again,
a hundred times a day,
and I walk away empty, and lonely, and sad.
O Lord, I pray for the grace of letting go.
I pray for the courage
to jump off the cliff.
I pray for the wisdom to stand before you.
Not to walk away.
Forgive me my false possessions,
and all my holding on,
and help me to lay aside
my opinions and my plans
and my great fear of dying
and to trust only in you.
Because I know it’s only then,
it’s only when I suffer the trials,
that I will feel your “indescribable joy.”
I know the trials don’t last.
I know that as soon as I face them,
they fade away.
They disappear, or they no longer matter,
because all that is left is You.
All that is left are the moments.
This ordinary gray morning,
which is full of your grace,
“more precious than gold.” (1 Peter 1:3-9)